Player: Pocket Nerd

Character Bio

In late 2006, the United States military initiated a secret program to create the ultimate psychological warfare weapon. The military exploited a new and cutting edge technology for their research: Something called an "internet." They weren't quite sure what it was, but somebody's nephew said it had a lot of computers.

Certain that this "internet" must surely hold the hidden keys to the human fear response, the committee spent hundreds of hours combing the net for data (and porn). Eventually, they constructed an awesome war machine combining the four most fearsome and terrifying things known to net nerds: The monkey. The pirate. The ninja. The robot.

(Next-gen console shortages were a close fifth, but nobody could think of a way to build that into a robot.)

Now the mighty Captain Robo-Pirate, with his nameless ninja minions, works to advance the agenda of the cabal responsible for his creation!

All this confirms exactly what most people suspected: The government is run by MORONS.

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